okay look

I know this isn't promising to read after my first blog post but I mean this in a chronically unwell physically and mentally ill very disabled way

I am so sick of vomiting

I would genuinely rather die than vomit one more time

I don't know why it's happening more often now (PCOS, health issues??)

I don't even know if I want to find out

I just want it to stop

I started eating more, and now I'm having issues

I started eating more, and I feel and look like I've gained weight

I started eating more, and it feels like I shouldn't have if I was healthier before when I wasn't

how is it that branching out and eating more came with all of this

how was I eating worse or the same two years ago but my weight and body were fine then..

I feel like I can't control anything

now I don't want to branch out any more, not if it's going to make me sick and bloated and hurt me somehow

- f